Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035*Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
* Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.
*Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon).
*George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
*35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
*Nursing home event...Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper.
*Texas executes last remaining citizen.
*Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
*Baby conceived naturally...scientists stumped.
*Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.
*Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.
*Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.
*Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
*New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.
No comments:
Post a Comment